Last week I went out with the kids on a visit to the neighbors. Just so you get the full picture of what these visits are like – meaning that they aren’t all wonderfully positive interactions where we come back encouraged… I’ll describe it to you.

We left our house which is now on one of the only paved streets in Abeche. We have to walk around a big empty area filled with garbage and goats to get to the neighbors houses. As we walked between 20-40 neighbor children (mostly boys) became to hover around us and follow us. I love the children but this setting makes it very difficult for us to interact, get to know their names, and have any meaningful relationships. Besides that the boys were pulling down Evangeline’s scarf and pulling on her hair. It feels out of order. At times the kids laugh at us.

When we went on visits a couple years ago Nehemiah and Evangeline were still young enough that they didn’t pick up on all of these things. Now that they are a little older, they are observing everything. And this day last week Nehemiah, always processing everything verbally, is talking out everything. We arrived at the neighbor woman’s house and these big herd of children followed us in through the straw door. The woman we were visiting was sort of shooing the herd away but also seemed proud to have the foreigners at her house. So she would threatened to throw her shoe at them all the while smiling.

We sat down on a mat on the sand and the woman prepared tea for us over charcoals. As we sat there the herd of children continued to stare into the area we were sitting at. Nehemiah was saying “mom they’re not listening to the woman. Why aren’t they listening to the woman? They should do like people do in America. They shouldn’t come into someone’s house like this.” Meanwhile there were goats that were trying to chew on the ladies clothing so she was throwing rocks at them. Athanasius starting mimicing the way the lady tried to scare the goats away by saying “Djick, Djick”. Then all the kids started laughing at Athanasius. Evangeline sat there quietly taking it all in.

I realized that this visit was more about shepherding our own kids then it was about visiting the woman. But I was quite overwhelmed with what to do with Nehemiah’s constant processing of the situation and my own processing of it.

When we got ready to leave the kids got up and started walking out. The herd was waiting there and one of the girls in the herd threw a rock at Nehemiah and Evangeline. I didn’t see it and don’t know what her intentions were. No one got hurt, but obviously it didn’t leave Nehemiah and Evangeline with a great taste in their mouth.

As we left the herd followed us. We got stopped by another neighbor lady who insisted that we go in for water. As we tried to greet her, I asked the kids to shake her hand and her son’s hand. Nehemiah held out his left hand which is not acceptable here (and he is very aware of that). So on one hand I knew that Nehemiah was processing everything and that this could be a reaction to all of that. On the other hand, I had asked him to shake the boy’s hand and he didn’t do it. We ended up going home.

Nehemiah and I had a long discussion. I told him that it is not always easy for me to go on these visits either. I shared with him that I don’t always love the neighbors more than myself and that I really need God’s help. I reminded him that God made each of these children here and He loves them. He wants them to know about the hope that we have. He shared with me how it is easiest for him when he knows the other child’s name and when they know his name and can treat him just like another boy.

I also realized that there are times when I might go on a visit with all of the kids and other times when I can go with just one at a time.

My longing is that I will see these neighbors the way that God does and that Nehemiah and Evangeline will see HIs love for them in me. I also want to pray that the Lord will guide Jacob and I in how to shepherd them in this. Some thoughts I have had are that maybe we should go out on a walk around the neighborhood 3-4 times a week in the morning when it is not quite as hot.