As we’ve been moving and packing and traveling, it isn’t easy to find quiet time to myself to be with the Lord. It takes a real deliberate effort to carve out time. Honestly most of the time has been when everyone is strapped in to their seats and can’t go anywhere so there’s still background noise but it works. One thing I’ve learned that helps me to take the time, is to have a book handy that helps me meditate on the Word.

As Jacob and I read through Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney, one suggestion C.J. made in deliberately making steps towards humility was to stay near to the cross. He recommended a book by John Stott titled buy prednisone online The Cross of Christ cheap Zoloft order Prozac . So that is the current book in my purse.

John Stott is very thorough in his attempt to help the reader meditate on the cross. The four main sections of the book are titled: I) Approaching the Cross, II) The Heart of the Cross, III) The Achievement of the Cross, and IV) Living Under the Cross.

This week I was struck by a section discussing the gravity of sin. I remember growing up and saying the Lord’s prayer to myself as I lay in bed. I got to the part about “Forgive me of my sins” and I thought about it for awhile concluding that I didn’t think I had any! Can you believe that? I hadn’t gone out drinking or slept with anyone. I had good grades and played the flute in the band and orchestra. On the outside, I looked like a good kid.

I even remember a part of the confession we said every week in church: “I confess that I have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by things I have done and things I have left undone. I have not loved you with my whole heart. I have not loved my neighbor as myself…”

But those words never pierced me then the way they do now. Because of the Holy Spirit’s work, I now feel my inability to love Him with all of my heart and a keen awareness of my unloving thoughts about my “neighbor”. This keen awareness of my ongoing sin and inability to do anything about it apart from Christ, leads me to the cross. It is a deep joy that we have been given there. A joy that doesn’t pretend that when the outside of the cup looks clean, so is the inside. It is a joy that the inside has been cleaned by Jesus’ death on the cross and that is where I rest tonight.

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