Nehemiah and I have frequently had a certain conversation these past 9 months.  It is usually prompted by something that Evangeline gets to do, but he does not.  For example, when Miss Corbett arrived she began to give Evangeline violin lessons.  So Nehemiah sends off his sister with his lower lip hanging because he doesn’t get to spend special time with Miss Corbett.  Some people might say that this is natural and he has a right to be disappointed.  I tend to think that it is unloving.

What I want for our son is for him to rejoice in the joy of his sister.  I want him to bless his sister as she goes out the door instead of being so self consumed that all he can think about is what he doesn’t get to do.

So our conversation goes something like this:

Nehemiah.  You and your sister are not the same people and that’s a good thing.  Papa and I wouldn’t be loving you if we gave you all the same things as Evangeline.  Right now you think that you would be happy if you got the same thing as Evangeline.  When in fact, I don’t even think you would enjoy violin lessons.  That’s why yesterday Papa took time to take you to hockey and give you some tips on backwards skating.  Did Papa do that with Evangeline?  No.  Why not?  Because, she wouldn’t even enjoy that.  I want you to be able to be glad that your sister gets to do something special.  

In a way, Nehemiah’s pouting is a an expression of a belief in his heart which says “You love my sister more than me.”  It isn’t true.  But in one moment he forgets all of the evidences of grace and love that have been poured out on him in that day alone.

Nehemiah is not the only one with “Lower Lip Syndrome”.  As parents we do the same thing.  We see someone else’s child exhibiting self-control and instead of being happy that the Lord’s grace is at work in their hearts, we quickly choose to wish that our own child would exhibit the same fruit.  Let’s call it what it is.  Jealousy.  It is ugly and dark and not what God wants for His people.

I’m not sure if this happens in your house, or in your heart, but my prayer for our son and for my own heart is that I will not allow jealousy to sneak in and eat away at the joy I have in Christ.  He is a good Father.  He knows us intimately.  He knows what is best for each of us and it is not going to be the same as our brother, sister or neighbor.  Praise the LORD!  May we love one another by rejoicing when others rejoice and may He keep us from comparing ourselves to anyone but Him.
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Here’s Nehemiah NOT exhibiting the dreaded disease:

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