I know you’re thinking that I’m going to tell a joke, but no, this is the current book on my bookshelf. Listen, in Chad, you need to be able to laugh, or this place will eat you up. Actually, it’s not just Chad…a joyful heart is good medicine for EVERY soul.

And Jim Gaffigan delivers laughter by the truck loads. Different from most current secular comedians, he keeps the majority of his language and content on the clean side. As I’ve mentioned before, he is our family’s favorite comedian and I’m pretty sure my kids have the monologues from most of his sketches memorized.

“Dad Is Fat” is Gaffigan’s first book. The format makes for quick reads, as most chapters are short 2-4 page reflections on American culture, marriage…and especially what it’s like to raise kids (Gaffigan and his wife have five kids). If you have kids or just enjoy the spice they add to life, you will get a kick out of this book. I have been shaking in my bed a number of nights trying not to wake Sonja up as I’m laughing through his thoughts about his family and childrearing (my personal favorite was the chapter on circumcision and imagining how those initial conversations between Abraham and God went). Here is an excerpt from the introduction of the book (a letter to his kids):

Letter to My Children

Dear Children,

I am your dad. The father of all five of you pale creatures. Given how attractive and fertile your mother is, there may be more of you by the time you read this book. If you are reading this, I am probably dead. I would assume this because I can honestly foresee no other situation where you’d be interested in anything I’ve done. Right now, you are actually more interested in preventing me from doing things like working, sleeping, and smiling. I’m kidding, of course. Kind of. I love you with all of my heart, but you are probably the reason I’m dead.

…Anyway, this is a book all about what I observed being your dad purchase Prozac when you were very young and I had some hair back in good old 2013. So why a book? Well, since you’ve come into my life, you’ve been a constant source of entertainment while simultaneously driving me insane. I felt I had to write down my observations about you in a book. And also for money, so you could eat and continue to break things.

…You may be wondering how I wrote this book. From a very early age, you all instinctively knew I wasn’t that bright of a guy. Probably from all the times you had to correct me when I couldn’t read all the words in The Cat in the Hat. …I find writing e‑mails a chore. (Thank you, spell-check!) I wrote this book with the help of

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many people, but mostly your mother. Your mother is not only the only woman I’ve ever loved, but also the funniest person I know. When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard.

Love,

Dad

And I’ll close it up with a few quotes and a clip if you’d prefer to listen:

“I don’t know what’s more exhausting about Generic Zoloft parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing.”

*****

“Every year after Jeannie has her annual baby, I receive congratulations from friends and family. There’s always one person who says, ‘Oh, you just had a baby. Yeah, we just got a puppy.’ What? In no other situation could you compare a human to an animal and people would actually be okay with it. You could never say, ‘Oh, you just got married? Yeah, I used to have a pig. Does your new wife like to roll around in mud, too? My pig loved that.”

*****

“There are two philosophies when it comes to getting young children to sleep. There is ‘sleep training,’ which basically involves putting your kids to bed and listening to them scream all night; or there is ‘attachment parenting,’ which essentially involves lying down with your kids, cuddling buy prednisone online them, and then listening to them scream all night.”

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